Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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