her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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