Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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