I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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