To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
