oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
