She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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