We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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