I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
