I'm gonna have a badass scar
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
