Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
