I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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