I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
