You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
