Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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