Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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