First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
