who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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