omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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