just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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