How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
