Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
