Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
