Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
