He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
