i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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