So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
