Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
