Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
