ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
