Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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