The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
