from now on my penis is your penis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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