I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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