I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize