Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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