my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
