Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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