I just threw up on my dentist
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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