Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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