my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
