You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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