you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
