I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
