Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
