Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is Oprah even human
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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