Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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