We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
