so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
