Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize