This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
