Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The adults are the big ones right?
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